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babies in bars

My new poem about my hatred that is white-hot and unrelenting for babies in bars.

I love babies in bars.
smoking cigars.
picking at umbilical scars.
strumming little guitars.
going for jugulars.
trying to pay with dinars.
stalking their favorite reality stars.
talking about their trips to Myanmar.
shamefacedly reading Harper's Bazzar.
waiting for the valet to come around with the car.

wishing her biological clock would tick faster,

akw

Why We Haven't Blogged in So Long

Hi there everyone,

I'm writing to update you as to why we haven't blogged since August, seeing how it's now November. Well, Made of Babies lost a very good friend to Entitilitus. It was a very sad occasion, but Randy the Intern is in a better place now. Actually, it's probably a worse place because Randy was a 45 year-old Star Wars freak who spent 10 years at Sing-Sing for making a small child dress up as an Ewok and pleasure him. Not many people saw the side of Randy we did, though. And it was touching. Very touching. Here's Randy at a sporting event last month:


He's the hefty guy. It says "Fail" because this picture has been circulating the internet as a reminder that Entitilitus kills. We failed to help Randy. God help us all.

Peace on Earth,

-Michael

guatemalan-ness

Armand, why don't you let me be in the show? Are you afraid of my Guatemalan-ness?
Your what?
My Guatemalan-ness, my natural heat. You're afraid I'm too primitive to be on the stage with your little estrogen rockettes, right?
You're right. I'm afraid of your heat.


Sigh. I am TOTALLY watching The Birdcage tonight. It has been too long.

How I met James Holland

Hey there Made of Babies followers! Mike here with another thrilling story. You know, I met Amy and Emily through an old theater company but there is a special story about how I met the Hollandaise: James Holland. I call him Hollandaise because he's so damn sweet. James used to work for Publisher's Clearing House and I entered the sweepstakes. We've taped this re-enactment for your viewing pleasure, of how we met. Please note the names have been changed to protect the innocent. Enjoy!

-Michael

Mario and Luigi: Behind the Video Game

I salvaged this little short cleaning out an old PC.

GoodBurger: 9 to 5 or Much Earlier.

GoodBurger poured himself a cup of coffee but instead of coffee he filled it with cream. I told him I know you are just lapping cream out of that cup but he denied it.
I told him, "I smell it. There's only cream in there."
He denied it again.
I asked him, "Why, are you here anyways?"
He said, "I wanted to see where you work."
His accent was thick and pleased my boss.
He started doing an imitation of the gay guy that sits behind me.
It was very funny.
Only I laughed.
during it he knocked over the cup of cream. It spilled on my keyboard and we were both sent home early.
needless to say, we aren't speaking to each other...again.